Friday, October 26, 2012

The Difference Between Sons And Daughters

All of my friends have daughters.  I have boys.  Four of them.

Sometimes I wish we could have had an adorable little Holly Hobby or Strawberry Shortcake in precious dresses and curls...

Then I talk to my friends.

Their house is quiet.  They call out, "What I are you doing?"  The answer is always, "Nothing."

Here the house is quiet: I call out, "What are you doing?"  The answer I get? "Trying to show (insert one of my monster's names) you can flush a Hot Wheel."  Ahhh, the honesty of boys.

I'm on my third coffee table in as many years. Everything has been broken at least once, to include the antique ginger jar that was in my bathroom that I was saving for a cremation urn for my beloved cat (that passed away).

My friends complain about the clothes, the make-up, the drama.  I complain about the noise, the use of my make-up for their projects even though we have several art kits, and the drama.

Ever step on an errant Lego?  Most painful thing ever!  Left a blood blister so bad I ended up with a hole in my foot.  I've seen one of them use a flower pot as a weapon.

And they like to wrestle.  A Lot.  Girls just leave dolls, clothes, and toys everywhere while squealing.

At my friend's house, the daughter's rooms are picked up and somewhat tidy.  I'm pretty sure there's a dead animal carcass in one of the rooms here, but I can't get the door open all the way to find out.  Once a month I just hand out fresh plug-ins air fresheners.

Their girls cry all the time about boys.  When one of my boys go through a break-up, they shrug and continue playing video games.

Dinner talk is never appropriate and they rarely talk about anything of importance.  Girls are motormouths that know the gossip about every parental couple in our neighborhood.

"How was school?" I ask daily.  "Meh," is the usual reply.

Girls are always watching their figure and never eat anything.  Boys are stick-thin and eat everything in sight.

My husband wanted a daughter.  We have four boys.  After loud screams, crashes, things breaking, and the usual daily mass destruction, occasionally I have shouted one of two things:

"THAT'S why we don't have more kids!" or "THAT'S IT!!  Mommy's going in the other room to take a pill and when I get back (voice deepens) it better be quiet!"

I wouldn't change a thing.  I love my four little angels (of the apocalypse)!  They are so funny in their antics, but I'd never tell them that, I have to retain some power in the house.

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