Friday, October 5, 2012

I Just Can't Let This One Go: The Ostrich Pillow

What. The. Hell. Is. That? 

And where do I begin?

Let's start with how ridiculous you look in public.  That (I assume) guy isn't sleeping or he would have dropped that book and wouldn't be upright.  Why hasn't someone stolen his suitcase?  He can't see or hear. How will he know when his flight is boarding?

This thing pulls on over the top of your head.  I'm a woman.  With ridiculously long, uncontrollable curly hair. I am not, NOT, sticking that thing on my head after spending an hour and a half trying to tame my hair into place.  Nor will I rub off all the make-up I so carefully applied.  And quite frankly, I do some silly things for a laugh, but that is not one of them.

It has pockets to keep your hands warm, but you have to breath so your nose will be cold and then it will start to run.  Your hands are above your head so they will fall asleep. You're not allowed to sleep at work in pretty much every single company on the planet. 

It's padded so you can lay on the floor or your desk face-down to sleep. Who sleeps that way?

This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen and it's on every website, every talk show, and in every periodical.  It only comes in basic grey with blue-lined pockets and doesn't fit in your purse.

Let me catch you sleeping in a public place with one of these things on your head and I'm going to write "I'm an idiot" on your ostrich pillow with my giant black sharpie, that DOES fit in my purse...

Know what it reminds me of?

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