Saturday, August 3, 2019

Raising a Child with Special Needs

My only son is now 22.  Throughout his life we have faced many challenges, seizures, autism, being a military family...

My son started having seizures when he was 1 1 /2 years old.  It started with a bout of meningitis. The seizures were never normal, lasting ten, twenty, forty minutes, followed by confusion and a lengthy recovery time. When he was seven, he contracted meningitis again and we were simply told it was bad luck, different state, different circumstances.  We battled with the why of it all.  We battled with the tests, spinal as well as CT scans, MRI's and blood draws.  We finally started medicating when he was 11.



Being on the spectrum didn't get diagnosed until later.  All of his little "quirks" were attributed to many other things and the doctors weren't adding them together. I tried working when he was younger, but daycare and his idiosyncrasies proved difficult, plus with his dad's job requirements, we decided it best that I stay home to handle things.

He gets his own meals, sometimes what we eat, sometimes not.  He wears monochromatic clothing most of the time. He DOES NOTA take change well, so don't even think about suggesting something. Nobody can fathom our personal troubles.  Many have autism, many have epilepsy, many have both.  But every single one of them is different, unique, often challenging.

...and I am a combat vet, this is far harder.

My husband was always deployed and almost always during the holidays. It was like being a single parent for most of 20 years and with a son who just wasn't like the other kids...well, it made it hard, but we managed.  Every child with problems is different, everyone has advice easily rendered and I took it all in stride.  We worked hard and stayed strong through it all.  We never got used to it, but we got through it.



High school was especially challenging.  Kids can be cruel and trying to build self-confidence daily was never easy. We made sure he wore the latest trends or had the latest in everything so he didn't stand out. He outwardly appeared normal to many so they couldn't understand that he was different, that he processed things differently, that his abilities were different, that although he was outgoing and funny, and brilliant, he was totally and completely different.  He began to withdraw from friends, and the world in general.



He worked hard and got into a good college.  Several good colleges actually, but Penn State was his choice.  The first year was a strain because it was the first time he was on his own.  I made a few trips to see him, several hours away.  He eased into the second year, but by the third, his seizures were becoming more frequent and violent. He began to withdraw more. Due to his seizures, his embarrassment started, followed by anxiety and depression.  By his senior year, he was not doing well in school, he was not doing well mentally, and we pulled him home to get help.

Now we're in summer.  We seem to have gained control again and he begins school in a month as a fifth year Senior. What he doesn't know while we play MarioKart, or swim, or watch TV, and what I strive to hide is the financial burdens we're taking on now.

The GI Bill ran out and we can't afford to send him to college.  I'm struggling to continue to lift him so he may soar, but I've stopped sleeping. We're drowning in bills, my elderly, disabled parents are now with us, and all the while, I try to smile.



My pride aside, I need help.  I researched, and applied, and begged, and called...  so I started a Go Fund Me.  His tuition is $19378.  Anything, anything is appreciated:



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