Wednesday, October 24, 2012

More Stupid People Doing Dumb Things

Hurricane Irene preparations.  I hope that was a joke because if you think that post and string will keep your car from blowing away, you're dumber than the idea of staking it to the ground!  Perhaps a really smart pet untied them-self and tied up the car in their place.  Then left to find a new owner.

Never, never, NEVER tattoo a name or a picture of a current loved one.  There's no guarantee in life and those things are extremely painful to have removed.  

Not to mention your next love might not appreciate staring at your old love during intimate times.  Idiot.

I tell my kids not to put it on Facebook if you wouldn't want your grandparents to see it.  Because inevitably they will.  Did you know colleges and universities now Google and Facebook you before applications are considered?  Needless to say, these aren't Harvard kids.

No.  There is absolutely NO reason for that.  You can't drink from it and it's hideous to look at.  Just stop it!

If you think kids are going to drown in a fountain that doesn't even pool water, then don't have a fountain.  But this sign is just a waste of space, cardboard and ink.

I admit I've done this.  With a bear.  I can say without a doubt, from experience, animals can run much faster than you.  Except maybe a turtle.  Pure stupidity to think they can't stand up fast enough to gore you with an antler or trample you.

Whether that's your sibling or child, you should be aware of what you're doing.  But in the end I will enjoy watching your intervention on Jerry Springer when they're a teenager because you're stupid.  The internet is permanent.

Santas should be tested for alcohol and drugs.  Period.  At least he tried to cover himself with a hat before publicly passing out where children everywhere will be scarred for life.  I for one will throw away my Santa hat and never wear one again.  Ugh!

Whoever told you that you would be perfect for this contest lied. Outright.  Get off the stage.  Immediately.

Your underwear is not on right.  How do you not know this?  AND you dress to show it off.  Go home. You are to wear granny panties until you get it right.

So.  What will we be having with too much beer tonight?  Oh, Billy Bob is cooking up his buddies.  OVER A FIRE.  

That is not a hot tub, it is a tub that is getting hot, and those people are laughing because when you start to burn you will not be able to get out of that tub without flipping it and falling into the fire itself.  


I don't know the occasion, but I'm pretty sure it's not rated "G" and that child will be scarred for life.  Bad, bad, bad parents.

Then there's this:

This is my favorite.  Wife could not figure out how her husband knew she was cheating...  Guess she couldn't afford a hotel room after making her Volvo payment.  I hope she got nothing in the divorce and he framed this photo, blown up, over the mantel...

This is not politically correct to say, but apropos:

I have zero tolerance for stupid people!


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