My husband is devout Catholic. My son is Atheist. I am Agnostic. My only answer is, "When the burning bush comes and rings my doorbell, I'll get off the fence. Until then..."
I was baptized. I went to church every week. Wednesday night, Sunday morning, Sunday night, and went to Vacation Bible School every year well into high school. I was lucky to have a pastor that was always answering my endless barrage of questions with patience.
And did I question things!
After watching my grandmother die a slow and painful death from cancer, I started questioning more. This was a lady that didn't have a spiteful, hateful bone in her body. She was innocent in an uneducated way and didn't deserve that. When she passed, I turned my back on God. Then I read the Bible all the way through, followed by the Koran, the Book of Mormon, Native American spirituality, audited religious classes at local colleges, and sought the answers I needed.
I didn't find them. So, thus my waiting for the burning bush miracle. My son is scientific. He's been to church, I taught him stories from the Bible, gave him both sides to every story, never offered my own opinion; he made his own choice. My husband has faith. Especially the faith we'll come around.
Now science has discovered the God gene. A mutation in some people's DNA that makes them more susceptible to religion, faith, and the belief in a higher power. My son says, well, that's science and his answer. My husband says it's hogwash, that God probably gave us this gene and the Devil took it away in some. I am still sitting on the fence.
I wonder, if I had that faith gene and believed so strongly and now don't. What does that mean? Did my genes mutate? Did I never have it and was brainwashed as a child? These questions keep me on that fence, but I'm not jumping off to the other side, just in case.
You can't believe in the Devil unless you believe in God. But many people aren't faithful to the Lord and yet buy into demonic possessions. This I don't get.
There is no Yin without Yang. No Good without Evil. No Black without White. No Night without Day. No Life without Death.
It's a balance. That's my religion.
Karma. The Ripple Effect. Harmony.
I still pray and say Grace with my husband because it keeps the harmony in balance in my house. I remind my son to stop telling everyone he is Atheist (we are in the Bible Belt and I don't want my house burned down). I still read religious doctrines of every faith and newly discovered texts in the world. But my favorite is that I still ask my husband questions. They always start like this, "Let me ask you a question..." To which he always replies with a moan.
An example of what frustrates him, "If Jesus was the son of God and we're all God's children, how come I can't turn water into wine? How come I'm not the messiah?"
His reply every time, (sigh) "I DON'T KNOOOOW!"