Saturday, September 22, 2012

25 People I'd Like to Stab In The Eye With Fork

This is in no particular order, but the little things that bother me today to the point of wanting to hide in the closet with a pound cake, a box of Whitman's, and a fifth of Tequila...

1. Lindsay Lohan, girl, just stop it!
2. The person who thought toys with SOUND was a good idea.
3. Ben
4. Jerry (stop it with the enticing flavors already!)
5. Anyone who wears some or all of their pajamas to Walmart.
6. Whoever suggested to my husband to buy me a gym membership. (which leads to)
7. My husband
8. The Real Housewives of Anywhere
9. Kim Kardashian (no particular reason)
10. Solicitors who ignore the sign.  If I didn't call you, GO AWAY!
11. The inventor of Smart Cars.  I thought it was a joke.
12. Morning people
13. Optimistic people
14. Everyone running for President
15. Paris Hilton
16. Whoever packs take-out so you get home and all the cartons opened and spilled.
17. People who ask your opinion and do the opposite (Guess what?  I lied.)
18. Kanye West
19. Everyone that leaves the house on Black Friday
20. People that don't acknowledge when you let them go ahead of you
21. Snooki
22. Snooki (she warrants two listings)
23. Have I mentioned my husband?
24. People that have to one-up everything you say
25. Everyone previously listed, one more time, just for good measure.

Nobody ever stops you at the door for carrying a fork...

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