Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Are You Kidding Me?!?

Let me start with this rant will not be G, PG, or PG-13 rated.

What the Holy Fuck is wrong with people?  What has me up in arms this time?  I found this today:

Yep.  That's right.  A window in your lower lip.  A porthole to your teeth.  A skylight to your gingivitis.  A Pyrex plug in your face...

Did your mother not hug you enough?  Were you not given enough attention in this age of bury-your-head-in-your-smart-phone?  Have you simply lost you fucking mind?  What kind of attention whore does something like this?  Let me tell you two things:  First, that is outright disgusting.  Second, do you have any idea how many restaurants will ban you?

Some people are claiming this is photoshopped.  Nope, it's real.  Yes if your lower lip is pushed upward to insert a clear salad plate, your teeth will indeed look distorted and lower.

Was the tattoo parlor closed?  Did you mom refuse to sign the waiver to fork your tongue?  Did green snot through your nose piercing when you had the flu not gross enough people out?

I simply cannot fathom what goes through your head when you decide to do this or what the purpose is.  What the fuck happened to you as a child that makes you say, "Hmmm, I'm tired of opening my lips to see if something's I need to brush.  It's so much work....  I know!  I'll make it easier for myself!!"

I hope I'm not the first to say this:  You're a fucking moron.  Your parents must be so proud.  Or is your mom looking for the lid to her wrinkle cream?

And what the Hell is this guy doing?  Is that an empty toilet paper roll in his nose?  

He's in a bubble bath.  I have to re-process that.          He's.  In.  A.  Bubble.  Bath.

Are you fucking kidding me?  Seriously?  Is this your profile pic on Match.com?  I just found the definition of "fucktard".  I don't have anything against piercings.  My ears are done twice.  For those that need more, whatever, go for it.  The idea of piercing my tongue makes my fillings spark.  I even thought of doing my belly button once, but then, I never show my waist so what's the point?

I don't have anything against tatoos, I have one.  It's small and it's hidden, but sure, I find them sexy like most people...that is, if they're spelled correctly.

I don't even have a problem with freaks.  I've paid to see them at the fair.

But these fucking idiots need to be rounded up and put inside a very high-walled park where they can be properly gawked at by those who want to look at this sort of shit.  If this is what the world is becoming, someone please shoot me now.

Hey....   You have something in your teeth.

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