What's Wrong With The World Today...

As the novel coronavirus, COVID-19, sweeps the globe, I've lost my sense of humor.

I looked back through my texts to my son who was away at college and on January 27th is when I was first concerned about this virus, 81 deaths at the time, China the only country reporting cases. He thought my concerns were unwarranted.

When the first case hit the US, I started to worry a little more about the spread, starting talking about it more and my family brushed me off.  My mother was on board and we bought a few shelf-stable supplies just in case. Nothing on the level of hoarding, three extra packs spaghetti, one extra pack of toilet paper, Clorox wipes (because I was already using them daily since my husband is a teacher).

Then I got sick.  My doctor said it sounded like the coronavirus and not to come into the office.  The hospital told me not to come in because they were reserving tests for travelers.  I was really ill.  Couldn't breathe, couldn't get out of bed, slept way more than anyone should, fever, coughing. Had my flu shot, but this didn't feel like the flu. Put on a 14 day quarantine.

Now I'm mostly recovered and the US has (currently) 19.969 cases.  Since I had to go to the store for supplies, I donned a mask (I do a lot of painting and sanding so had a few in the garage) and went out.  Shelves were empty, but the store was not.  People are everywhere despite warnings.  It's a paid vacation to most and that really angers me. Nobody will heed warnings, everyone is hoarding, but STILL going out. Social media is blaming the President. I don't remember anyone handing it out like free candy.  He was criticized for acting too quickly, then criticized for not acting quickly enough. I'm not supporting him, just saying stop pointing fingers when the beaches are packed. I'm sick of hearing "it's just a flu" or "the flu kills more people every year".  Wake up World.

This is what's wrong with the world we live in.  Our own little bubble that's full of false information and a personal sense of entitlement. Blame someone else while not contributing to help.  I offered my four pack of toilet paper to an older lady standing in an empty aisle while being thanked by a nurse for being the only other person wearing a mask and trying to prevent the spread.

We eat dinner with our phones and zero communication.  We spend more time on social media than socializing with people face-to-face. Everyone is looking out for themselves and not taking care of our communities as a whole. The medical world has been warning us for years a "superbug" was coming and here it is.

Stories of people buying up everything to sell at exorbitant prices are everywhere. Now those people are stuck, unable to sell anywhere, and the rest of us can't get those very products we need for every day life.

As everyone ignores the social distancing warnings, the virus continues to spread. What I don't get is that most people never go ANYWHERE and now that they are told to stay home, they just can't. Maybe if the government told us to go out and infect as many as we could, the streets would be empty.

I hope this is a lesson to the world.  Maybe when the internet shuts down because workers are ill and we're forced to look up, we'll see things differently. Well, those that are left anyway. Maybe the Mayans were off, instead of 2012 it was supposed to be 2021...

I just checked after typing this, the US now has 22,132 cases.

Raising a Child with Special Needs

My only son is now 22.  Throughout his life we have faced many challenges, seizures, autism, being a military family...

My son started having seizures when he was 1 1 /2 years old.  It started with a bout of meningitis. The seizures were never normal, lasting ten, twenty, forty minutes, followed by confusion and a lengthy recovery time. When he was seven, he contracted meningitis again and we were simply told it was bad luck, different state, different circumstances.  We battled with the why of it all.  We battled with the tests, spinal as well as CT scans, MRI's and blood draws.  We finally started medicating when he was 11.

Being on the spectrum didn't get diagnosed until later.  All of his little "quirks" were attributed to many other things and the doctors weren't adding them together. I tried working when he was younger, but daycare and his idiosyncrasies proved difficult, plus with his dad's job requirements, we decided it best that I stay home to handle things.

He gets his own meals, sometimes what we eat, sometimes not.  He wears monochromatic clothing most of the time. He DOES NOTA take change well, so don't even think about suggesting something. Nobody can fathom our personal troubles.  Many have autism, many have epilepsy, many have both.  But every single one of them is different, unique, often challenging.

...and I am a combat vet, this is far harder.

My husband was always deployed and almost always during the holidays. It was like being a single parent for most of 20 years and with a son who just wasn't like the other kids...well, it made it hard, but we managed.  Every child with problems is different, everyone has advice easily rendered and I took it all in stride.  We worked hard and stayed strong through it all.  We never got used to it, but we got through it.

High school was especially challenging.  Kids can be cruel and trying to build self-confidence daily was never easy. We made sure he wore the latest trends or had the latest in everything so he didn't stand out. He outwardly appeared normal to many so they couldn't understand that he was different, that he processed things differently, that his abilities were different, that although he was outgoing and funny, and brilliant, he was totally and completely different.  He began to withdraw from friends, and the world in general.

He worked hard and got into a good college.  Several good colleges actually, but Penn State was his choice.  The first year was a strain because it was the first time he was on his own.  I made a few trips to see him, several hours away.  He eased into the second year, but by the third, his seizures were becoming more frequent and violent. He began to withdraw more. Due to his seizures, his embarrassment started, followed by anxiety and depression.  By his senior year, he was not doing well in school, he was not doing well mentally, and we pulled him home to get help.

Now we're in summer.  We seem to have gained control again and he begins school in a month as a fifth year Senior. What he doesn't know while we play MarioKart, or swim, or watch TV, and what I strive to hide is the financial burdens we're taking on now.

The GI Bill ran out and we can't afford to send him to college.  I'm struggling to continue to lift him so he may soar, but I've stopped sleeping. We're drowning in bills, my elderly, disabled parents are now with us, and all the while, I try to smile.

My pride aside, I need help.  I researched, and applied, and begged, and called...  so I started a Go Fund Me.  His tuition is $19378.  Anything, anything is appreciated:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/education-for-my-son-with-epilepsy-and-asperger039s&rcid=r01-15650932429-705e9bcf29314969&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_m