Monday, April 29, 2013

Technology Has Created A World Full Of Stupid People

Fifty or sixty years ago, people had the notion that by now we'd be fully automated, everyone would have flying cars, we'd colonize other planets, travel through time, cure diseases...

Instead, where are we today?

We have successfully tackled animal shaped rubber bands and them ridiculously over-priced them.  Silly Bandz.  At least that craze has died down, but not before I got sucked into buying them for my kids.

How about the Snuggie?  Basically a backwards robe allowing you to more comfortably be a lazy ass twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.  (suggested slogan) The Snuggie:  because covering up with an actual blanket is just too hard.

White trash individuals have somehow made it possible to not even get out of your pajamas and make it a socially acceptable practice to wear those pajamas in public.  Because getting dressed is just too hard.

(earrings do not make pajamas an outfit)

NOBODY knows how to spell.  Text-ese as I like to refer to this new language is the most annoying thing I've dealt with yet!!  SPELL YOUR WORDS!  

Stop abbreviating because you're too lazy to spell it out.  Of course most individuals can't spell so that's another problem.  Because it's just too hard to learn it for yourself when your cell phone has spell check and it's funny when it screws up.

So rather than advancing the human race as we've soared through the decades, we've basically killed off humanity.  We've become a society full of idiots.

Remember Wall-E?  Everyone was overweight, living in a unitard, unaware of their surroundings, and couldn't even walk any more.  Welcome to the future.  You're there.

The Age of Innocence has become the Age of Idiots.  It angers me to the point of having to self-medicate before going out so I don't punch people for being stupid. 

They're everywhere and they're taking over.  Look around.  

Technology hasn't made us smarter, who knows anyone's phone number without pushing the button in the phone?  How many hours do you spend on the computer compared to how many hours you spend outdoors?  

How many people bother with what they look like when they go out?  Why bother when nobody looks up from that little screen any more.  People text each other at the same table at Starbucks!

It's the end of the world, the fall of Rome, existence as we know it has slipped past us and nobody noticed or cared.  

Friday, April 26, 2013

Man Of The Year: Omar Borkan Al Gala

When I read things these days, anything, my first instinct is to research and see if it's true.  Sad, but sensationalism and views or ratings are more important than relaying the truth these days.

Video used to be our savior, but even that can be manipulated.

(random photo to generate suspense)

So yesterday I read this story about a man named Omar Borkan Al Gala.

The smoldering good looks of Omar Borkan Al Gala a national threat?  Apparently.

Omar, together with 2 other men from United Arab Emirates, were expelled from Saudi Arabia during a cultural festival as they were deemed "too handsome" by the religious police and that "the festival commission members feared female visitors could fall for them."  Concerned women might suddenly start stripping naked and throwing themselves at the men, police seemingly decided the best option was to remove them from the country.

Hang on....Hahahahahahahaha.  One, they have religious police?  And two, they were kicked out of the country because he was too handsome?  

He was deported for being handsome.  I have to know more...

The Middle East and surrounding countries have spawned some stereotypes in my American eyes.  Surely all men over there must look like this:

Or maybe this:

LOL, Or even possibly this:

But, no, apparently this Omar is truly handsome.  Even my heart did a skip.  I mean, I'm not tearing my clothes off as they feared in the UAE or begging him to visit, plus he's younger, but he is definitely a good looking man.

Want to see the definition of "tall, dark, and handsome"?


How about?

Dubai-based Omar's an actor, model, photographer, and poet.  Poet?  He's said on his Facebook page (be careful, there are a lot of imitators out there now), "The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides."

"Last night I looked up into the stars and matched each one with a reason why I love you. I was doing great until I ran out of stars."


And "If you're alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me."

He has a soul, a heart, he's sensitive, and wants to be liked for himself, not his mesmerizing eyes.

Are you kidding me?  He can't possibly be real!  Either way, women all over the globe are swooning and suddenly he's the planet's sexiest man.

It's certainly changed my view of what men look like over there!  If I were younger, single, I would consider (though only briefly because it's hot there) defecting.  He quotes When Harry Met Sally and Oscar Wilde for Heaven's sake!

Ok, one more:

With a horse?  Stop it. 

He's got my vote for Man of the Year based on the sudden buzz he's created and how funny I find his deportation.

If you want to insert him into your mental catalog of "Fifty Shades of Sand", by all means...

AND a falcon??  You're killing me Omar!

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Confessions Of A Shoe Whore

I collect shoes the way some people collect knick-knacks.  I mean, I really sort of collect them.  I have more shoes than even I can fathom and sadly I've worn most of them only once or twice.

I have some that have never left the box.

I love shoes, I love the feel of a gorgeous high heel on my foot. The click clacking echo that resonates as I cross the wood floor.  The bend of my arch.  I love how sexy I feel just sliding my foot into something uniquely pretty.

Men don't care what is displayed on our feet, we dress for ourselves or to compete with other women, but that doesn't stop me from wanting something sexy.

On the other hand, I am a little on the heavy side and the extra weight defying gravity makes it impossible to wear more than a little while.  So I practically live in three pairs of shoes:  my tennis shoes, my loafers, and my ballet flats.  And in secret, I hoard my dreams in little boxes.

It doesn't stop me from buying them and it surely doesn't stop me from fantasizing about a lithe body, a short dress, and my feet on display in a fabulous pair of pumps.  I'll place a pretty pump on and just ogle it.

Something feminine, yet with a hint of the exotic.  Plus the classics.  I'm always surfing the internet for the next to-die-fors.

It does however keep my husband perplexed as to why I have to have more pairs.

Want to talk dirty to me?  Repeat these words:  Manolo Blahnik, Christian Loubitin, Jimmy Choo, Gucci, or Louis Vuitton.

Really want to rev my engine, say, "Want to go shoe shopping, pretty lady?  My treat."

Friday, April 19, 2013

Boston Marathon Suspect #2 Bomber Caught Alive

Tweeted by Boston Police Department (Official):

"CAPTURED!!! The hunt is over. The search is done. The terror is over. And justice has won. Suspect in custody."

Injured, not wearing a suicide vest, taken into custody.  Hiding in a boat.  Really?!?  Let the interrogation begin...


Bless all of those that got the bombers quickly, efficiently, and did such a thorough job. May those we lost rest peacefully, and please, please, let the Boston crowds have a crack at this guy after we get our answers!

Time to get Bin Laden: 3,000 days. 

Time to get the Tsarnaev brothers: 4 days.   Welcome to Boston, USA, assholes!

Boston Bombing Suspects: One Dead, One On The Run

Two men (allegedly brothers) suspected in the Boston Marathon bombing that killed three people this week terrorized the area overnight. One is dead, but the other is on the loose, police say, and he's armed and dangerous.

Police pursued two men early Friday who shot a police officer to death, stole a vehicle and threw explosives at law officers pursuing them.  

Not exactly the actions of innocent men.  

One suspect was injured in a shootout with transit police and pronounced dead at a local hospital, according to a statement from the Massachusetts district attorney.

Police believe he could be suspect number 1 (we now know was named Tamerlan Tsarnaev) in the marathon bombings.

Police believe the man at large is "suspect number 2" in Monday's bombing. Federal, state and local law officers are swarming through the Boston suburb of Watertown in search of him.

(as people fled the scene, he calmly turned a corner)

A surveillance image of the fugitive resembles photos of one of the suspects sought for alleged involvement in the marathon attacks that killed three.

The image of the man with bushy, wavy black hair, a pronounced chin and nose, and a slight build matches photos circulated of the man in the white cap, carrying a backpack near the scene of Monday's bombing.

Police requested that people in the lockdown area turn off their cell phones. Authorities suspect cell phones were used to detonate the bombs that flung metal through the crowds at the marathon Monday.

(suspect number 1, on right, dead; suspect number 2 on left, still at large)

Suspect number 2, in my opinion, looks a lot like a blurry Patrick Dempsey (actually named Dzhokhar Tsarnaev).  You know, if he had a psychotic younger brother that liked to kill people...

Federal, state and local agencies are still investigating the marathon bombing.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Boston Bombing Suspects Possibly Identified

Posting this update above the story I originally posted below...

In a related story of the real bombers identified, these two men have come forward:

The two men described as “possible suspects” in the Boston Marathon bombing are actually a 24-year-old track coach and a teenage high school runner who works at Subway and posted photos to Facebook of his trip Monday to watch the race.

In a CNN update, correspondent Deborah Feyerick reported that investigators were looking at two “possible suspects” who had initially been considered “men of interest.” However, Feyerick added, the pair had subsequently “risen to the top of the list” of probers. While not showing photos of the two purported suspects, Feyerick gave detailed descriptions of the pair’s clothing and the bags they carried.

CNN anchor Erin Burnett reported this afternoon that investigators alerted to photos of the two spectators because “perhaps” the bags they carried “were bigger than they should be.” Large enough, presumably, to fit six-liter pressure cookers. Burnett also reported that photos of the duo "hovering" near the finish line were not being disseminated by federal agents due to fear that such a release “could impede the investigation.”

Original story:

They aren't talking exactly who the suspects are, but last night on CNN we were told "a man in a white ball cap and another in a running suit trying to blend in".

Well, I'm not a genius, but let's take a look...

And they're carrying bags?  Come on, why not wear a name tag that says "Hello, My Name Is:  Bomber".

Then there's this creepy looking guy...

Carrying a bag suspiciously like the one that exploded.

In a crowd shot, Creepy looking guy is trying to keep eyes-on the two that are seen together.

(Middle, bottom, look for the white hat)

That guy in the blue track suit is caught "talking into his hand" on pictures at least twice.

I'm not stereotyping here, but that's a white ball cap and that's a running suit and they are clearly together:

These other two guys that many have speculated about.  Let me sort of clear this up, again, I'm no expert, but I am prior military and that's standard issue if I've ever seen it, no matter how suspicious they seem to some, they look like "military poised" to me and that ball cap is not white and those are not "running suits".

And we did have military guys actually running the marathon so why wouldn't we have some in the crowd?

If anyone knows those other three creepy guys, you may want to call the authorities, just in case they are armed and dangerous, because they look suspicious to me.

If they are college students and not the "white ball cap and running suit" the authorities are looking for, then I apologize for pointing fingers, but next time wear a different outfit...

Fertilizer Factory In Texas Explodes

A massive explosion at a fertilizer plant in the small Texas town of West just before eight p.m. (local) left at least two people dead, sent dozens more seeking medical attention and prompted a wide-scale evacuation in the community of 2,600 people.

Fire officials fear that the number of casualties could rise much higher.

The blast took place at the West Fertilizer Plant, about 18 miles north of Waco. It sent a massive fireball into the sky.

A nearby resident, said she saw the flames engulf a nursing home and an apartment complex.

"It was like a bomb went off," said a resident who lives about a mile away from the plant. "There were emergency vehicles everywhere. It has been overwhelming."

The explosion of combustible materials, the same materials used in fertilizer are components of bombs, was so powerful, it registered a 2.2 on the Richter Scale.

Buildings in a radius of about five blocks around the plant, including at least 60 more homes, were heavily damaged by the blast, officials said.

It looked to some that a bomb had indeed gone off.  

In the wake of the Boston Marathon bombings, many are skittish right now, but I doubt any terrorist, home-grown or foreign would bother to drive out to the middle of nowhere and blow up a bunch of cow poo.  

Just saying...

Disney Left Me With Unrealistic Expectations

I just adore Disney, I watch the animated movies over and over again.  I also sing along.  But they don't really teach a girl reality.  It took me until now to realize this, but the truth has left me bereft.

Animals don't help me get dressed.  They don't sew me pretty dresses or help me clean.  I've never been carried by a dolphin and I've never had a lute playing rooster.  In fact, roosters are pretty mean.

Usually when I talk to an animal it either runs away, attacks like a rabid rhesus monkey, or looks at me like I need to be institutionalized.  Actually I was attacked by a chicken once trying to talk to it and it pecked me to the point of developing a phobia about barnyard fowl.  

My cat used to put a paw over my mouth to shut me up.  True story.

Pocahontas is a beautiful, sexy girl having an affair with an older, handsome man.  Wasn't she like twelve?  Probably frowned upon.  I'm pretty sure that's called statutory rape.

I have rubbed, polished, and stroked (to the point of being a little creepy) every lamp I've ever found and no genie has ever popped out and granted me wishes.  I've also thrown countless coins into numerous wells only to learn I no longer had enough money for the ice cream truck and those coins are corroded and probably poisoning someone's water supply.  Sorry about that.

I don't care how well I clean up.  A handsome, rich prince on a steed and/or with a castle is not coming to sweep me off my feet.  They certainly don't hang out at Walmart, wouldn't care to hold my dry, over-worked hands, and no matter how well I sing, I will never have a sparkly diamond crown on my head unless I win the lottery.  

He'd probably be a jerk anyway. 

I do have a rhinestone tiara and a lot of alone time, though...

Being a rebel and running away to seek what you want and get away from your too-mean parents that don't understand you, doesn't get you your true love.  Fact.  You aren't smiled upon with parental love and respect because you've stood up for what you want in life.  You're reprimanded, grounded.  

And where were those stupid animals that were supposed to help you?  Somewhere in the woods avoiding the crazy lady with the rhinestone tiara on her head!

And I'll tell you something else while I'm at it; no Jamaican-accented crab is going to rally the sea troops to help make that non-existent prince kiss you either.

When you grow up, you realize that your Happy Ending isn't what you dreamed it would be.  There is no gold gilded carriage.  It doesn't mean you can't be happy, but I woke up next to Goofy instead of Prince Charming and I'm pretty sure my husband will never ride a horse, carry me into the sunset, or have an animal band playing exit music in some exotic locale.  

I will never be transformed into a beauty to be envied and no Fairy Godmother will sprinkle sparkly things over my head and make my problems go away.

I do have laughter and I can still escape into my animated dreams wearing my almost-a-Princess tiara!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Robert Redford & "The Company You Keep"

I am sick and tired of the ridiculous posts I'm seeing on the internet about how Robert Redford and the other stars in his latest movie are "all about" home-grown terrorism.

Let me tell you something straight away:  I did some pretty stupid shit was I was young.  I thought I was right to be doing it, too.  To this day I stand behind my beliefs back then, in the context of it being when it was.  Not now.  Now I look back and think I was an idiot.  Back then I was living like The Legend of Billie Jean!

Sometimes I reflect and think, "Oooof!  What was I thinking?!?"

Let's face it, even Disney promotes illegal activities for a good cause. In Lady & The Tramp, when the dog catcher is bested and the dogs are freed...well, that's not always a good thing.  I want to free caged animals, but the reality is they could be sick or not fixed going on to breed more strays.  The negative possibilities are endless, but in the end, adoption is the best hope.

**Spread the word, adopt your pet, don't pay a breeder, they'll love you more.

Let's stick with the safety of Disney for a moment.

Pocahontas.  Beautiful, sexy Pocahontas.  A wonderful tale of love, but in reality, wasn't she like twelve?  I'm pretty sure that's considered statutory rape in every state now.

I won't even get into how running away and rebellion, while trying to get a grown man to make out with you when you're 16, leads to getting everything you want, Ariel.  (Little Mermaid)

I'm going with the benign because the truth is we have passions about what we believe is right what we believe to be true in our hearts with hope that we can make a difference.

And everyone is different.

What are these people even protesting?  "End War.  End Poverty.  Peace.  Clergy"

Wait.  What?  Clergy?

The 1960's and early '70's were all about war protests, veterans were treated like garbage, and now they are heroes.  Thank you for that (as a veteran and married to a military man).

And drugs.  There was a lot of drugs back then.

Women's Rights?  One of the largest protests of the suffrage movement happened the day before Woodrow Wilson was to be inaugurated as President in 1913. Between 5,000 to 8,000 suffragists marched down Pennsylvania Avenue, past the White House. It's not a "million men", but that was a lot back then.  Organizers had secured a permit to march, however, many protesters were assaulted by those in the crowd who opposed the women's right-to-vote campaign.

Those women fought back.  Violence ensued.  If they hadn't, I might be jailed for writing this.

So When Redford said he believed in the cause back then.  He did.  He believed to instill change you had to do something radical.  They all did back then.

Does he now?  No, it's just a part of passionate history that he was a part of a long time ago.

So stop bashing him on your twisted extremists sites and watch the video.  Nobody, especially Robert Redford and the actors in this movie, condone what happened in Boston recently.  Nobody is demoralizing the recent tragedy and most reviews of the movie came out before the attack.

I was not Billie Jean, but I sure felt like it, and I look back sort of fondly on my youthful exuberance.  At the same time if I caught my kids acting like that I'd bring back corporal punishment in a heartbeat!  So don't judge on half-truths.

The truth shall set you free and closed minds taking things out of context only leads to more hate and lies.
My Zimbio
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